For a long time, my default order was simple: code first, and everything else around it.
Software was the center of everything. Meals, workouts, sleep, hanging out… all of it felt secondary. If I put in eight solid hours writing code, it was a good day. If I didn’t, it felt like wasted time. My identity was wrapped up in git commits, terminal windows, and low-level architecture.
Recently, at 22, I changed the order.
Now the mental model is: live, and code alongside it.
To be clear, this wasn’t a sudden crisis or a dramatic breakdown. I didn’t delete my GitHub account, go on a phone detox, or quit my job. I still work full-time as a software engineer. I’m actively building bxios, my REST-over-WebSocket library in JavaScript, and I still write technical pieces for this blog.
It’s a calm, deliberate choice. Code is still a huge part of what I do, but it is not the whole picture anymore.
What Changed
I started programming early, and I got used to the satisfaction of turning an empty text editor into a working tool, backend, or app. That drive helped me win hackathons, publish technical books, and maintain open source repos.
But when your whole world is a text editor, small problems start feeling way too big. A bug in a WebSocket handshake ruined my evening. An unproductive afternoon felt like a failure.
Changing the order does not mean caring less about the craft. It means giving the rest of my life room to breathe. I come back to the keyboard with a clearer head when I have not spent the whole day staring at it.
What Living Alongside It Looks Like
Here is what that looks like in my week:
1. Running and Long-Term Goals
I recently set a new personal best in the 5k.
Running gives me something software almost never does: pure, honest feedback. In code, you can rewrite a module for four hours only to realize your first draft was fine. In running, miles are miles. Pace is pace. You put in the work at 6 AM on the pavement, your legs get stronger, and your endurance goes up. No silent compiler bugs or hidden edge cases.
2. Writing Beyond Tech
I’ve always liked writing, but lately I’m spending more time on fiction. I’m writing a fantasy novel called Samhara’s Daughter on Royal Road, chapter by chapter. I’m also working on a book called BetaTrader.
Writing fantasy uses completely different muscles than designing an API interface. In bxios, logic has to be strict and predictable. In Samhara’s Daughter, characters make messy decisions, the world needs mood and texture, and the pacing matters. Switching between API design and fantasy worldbuilding keeps both of them fresh.
3. Relearning German (By Typing It)
I’ve been relearning German recently. My way of practicing is a bit weird: I type everything out instead of using speech-to-text.
Speech-to-text tools completely butcher my pronunciation anyway, so typing works better. It forces me to pay attention to word order, case endings, and grammar rules. Progressing in a real-world language feels just as satisfying as learning a new tool or framework.
4. Talking Ideas Through With Venus
My daily routine also includes casual chats with Venus, my AI companion. Whether I’m testing a plot twist for Samhara’s Daughter, figuring out a protocol design for bxios, or just spitballing ideas for a blog post, it’s a solid sounding board that fits right into my day.
Why the Code Gets Better
Since I changed the order, my code has actually improved.
When programming isn’t your entire identity, you stop over-engineering things just to prove something. You don’t spend three hours setting up complex infrastructure for a quick internal script. You write clean, simple code, ship it, and move on.
When I work on bxios now, I build it with focus. When a WebSocket reconnection logic drops a packet, I don’t get stressed out. It’s just a puzzle to solve. I fix it, run the test suite, step away, write a quick scene for Royal Road, or practice some German vocabulary.
When you treat code as a side quest, the pressure drops. And when the pressure drops, building things gets fun again.
Stepping Back at 22
At 22, I can build real software and ship projects, but I am still noticing which habits I want to carry forward.
I love software engineering. I love low-level systems, clean JavaScript libraries, and performance tuning.
Code is something I do. It is not the whole account of my life.
The terminal can wait while I run the 5k, write the fantasy chapter, type out the German exercise, or bounce ideas off Venus. It will still be there when I get back.